Sunday, Bloody Sunday. Tomorrow I find out the results of my second biopsy. It is not an easy thing to face. I am not certain how I feel. A little like I can do this no matter what and a little like I am terrified and out of control. Well something is out of control in my body that is for sure. Are cancer cells me, or are they alien microbes living in my body. I don't really know what to think of them. Are they innocent or are they the incarnation of evil? If they are me, why are they doing this and why are they out of control? Did I do this by some choice I made in my past? Is this random? Is this a joke of destiny? What in the hell is going on here?
My pen pal Linda wrote this about my chakras after she analyzed a picture of me:


rescue remedy on the base (1st chakra = survival) treating for severe upset/shock

centaury on heart treating to strengthen your will = to believe in yourself = your power to heal and overcome

sweet chestnut on crown (7th= spiritual connection) for endurance from anguish and feelings of dejection = like God doesn't care

My old friend Anne Adams called yesterday. We worked together at Channel 8 centuries ago. She is a survivor and reassured me that yes, this too will pass. It seems endless and I've not even started.