Hermann Hesse said that Fate and temperament were one and the same thing. When I read this 30 years or so while traveling on a train somewhere in Europe,I agreed with it. I felt it in my bones. I knew I was following my fate. Now, my wiser older self questions it (along with a lot more things). We may be the person our moods make us but we still have the keys to change, don't we? Are we doomed to being a high school jerk our entire lives? This idea goes along with the guy who said, "We are what we think about all day". What does that make me? A quark? I think about them all day. I think about how when I see something that seems solid that it is not, that it is tiny little quarks moving madly around. Frankly, I am amazed that we can see things as solids at all. I also think about this: if I took my body apart atom by atom I would have a pile of stuff that was never living but if you put it together it becomes a living thing, me!! In other words we are the sum of our non living parts that are not solid at all but whirling around in their own little universe. Do they care about us? Are these tiny subatomic particle/waves God?

Then there is string theory which finally begins to make sense of all of it (except for the math part)